Friday, October 31, 2008

Ash & the Evil Dead (A Halloween Focus)


He’s faced the Evil Dead… He’s fought the Army of Darkness… He’s…
ASH…
Hail to the King, baby!
By Reymundo Salao


(We already know Freddy, Jason, Chuckie, and even Sadako. But many of us forget this one horror icon who’s actually one of the most kickass characters
It is the dark ages, around 1300 AD; The King who is named Arthur his right-hand wizard’s name is Merlin too) raises his sword to threaten Ash, when all of a sudden a cracking boom stunned the king as the tip of his sword is blown off. The King stops to look at Ash, puzzled with what he’s done. Ash blows off the smoke from his gun and turns to the peasant crowd who just witnessed the amazing incident. The peasants of that land were simpleminded medieval folk; farmers, knights, horsemen, blacksmiths, and carpenters. They were at awe to what this stranger called Ash has to say to them: “Alright, you primitive screwheads; Listen up! See this? THIS is my BOOMSTICK! It’s a 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart’s ‘Top-of-the-Line’! You can find this in the sporting goods department. That’s right; this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapid, Michigan. Retail’s for about a hundred-nine, ninety five It’s got a walnut stock, cobalt-blue steel, and a hair-trigger. That’s right, Shop Smart: Shop S-MART…
…YOU GOT THAT?!”

Yes, we’ve seen that scene before, and in case you haven’t, well, then you’ve got three movies to look for: EVIL DEAD (not the Asian movie of the same title), EVIL DEAD 2: DEAD BY DAWN, and EVIL DEAD 3: ARMY OF DARKNESS.

He’s not Macgyver, but he still manages to make a cybernetic hand with only a medieval gauntlet, and then he makes a propeller-armed battle tank out of a broken automobile, all in a matter of days. He’s the hero of the EVIL DEAD trilogy. His name is ASH (Full name: Ashley Williams), and he’s seen death one too many times, been possessed by evil demons more than once, managed to cut his own hand in the process, and fought the army of the dead. Not to mention, he had an affair with some chick in the dark ages. It may be that killer shotgun he carries around, or that kick-ass chainsaw he’s got for a hand, or maybe plainly just his wicked personality that makes him the kind of guy who would take on Superman, no sweat.

It’s no surprise that his existence is the work of real insane genius; he was created by Sam Raimi and Robert Tapert, the now-popular director of the successful Spiderman film franchise. His film has neither got critical acclaim, nor blockbuster prowess, but he remains as one of the most influential fictional characters that ever existed. Mainly because of a cult following that had become an entire nation of cult followers. His ardent fans all over the world are as diehard as any sci-fi/fantasy geek. He’s got more spin-off video games and action figures than Harry Potter or that forgettable hero of The MUMMY. ASH truly embodies the definition of a true CULT HERO.

Evil Origins
The Terror of the EVIL DEAD actually began when Archaeologist Dr. Raymond Knowby and his wife Henrietta traveled to the Castle of Kantar and unearthed the book known as The NECRONOMICON EX MORTIS. Legend has it that it was written by the dark ones. It serves as a passageway to the evil worlds beyond. But in Knowby’s incompetence, he brought it back to his cabin and there, he transcribed and recorded some of its incantations in an audio recorder. It was then when the evil was unleashed to sow terror upon Knowby, which resulted in their massacre.


It was much later when Ash and his friends were drawn into the cabin and there, the evil dead awaited to consume them. But Ash survives…

EVIL DEAD 4?
In regards to 'Evil Dead 4 Sam Raimi says, "There will be an Evil Dead 4, and there will ALSO be an Evil Dead Remake. The remake will be produced by Ghost House pictures, (his company with Robert Tapert) and it will star a new cast and a completely new director. The point of Ghost House is that we want to bring new directors (like Takashi Shimizu of "the Grudge" to Hollywood and give them a chance to make a good horror film."

On WHAT inspired him to allow the remake, Raimi said, "I love the original Dawn of the Dead, and I also really enjoyed the new Dawn of the Dead. I mean, they are both really great horror films. I want to let somebody with a fresh vision bring The Evil Dead to a new generation and a new audience with a different vision..."
Contrary to what Raimi told Mr. D, the remake will be Evil Dead 1 and 2 together, but remade with a higher budget and a new cast and crew. As for EVIL DEAD 4, reports have revealed that this project will push through and ASH’s adventures will continue his adventure fighting the Evil Dead…






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Sunday, October 19, 2008

SNEEZE November Issue

SNEEZE November Issue
or the Pista Minatay Issue
is going to be out on October 21, 2008
This issue will feature The 10 Best Batman Books, Strange Days 2: The Counter Culture Gig, The Rock the Rehas gig of RockEd Iloilo, The Pinoy Metal band Death Angel, Then there's this Cult in Mexico that prays to St. Death, & we also talk about Saints that can kick your ass, And of course we talk about the Iloilo Counter Culture compilation album. On this issue we also give our thoughts on the relationship between Heavy Metal music and why people call it Satanic.
SNEEZE is available at EddieMar Newspaper & Magazine Shop.







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Saturday, October 18, 2008

...And So it Begins

Teh! Yari Na! Amo na ni ang Website ka SNEEZE Magazine. This is SNEEZE on the web. If SNEEZE Magazine is'nt enough for you, well, this site is the answer. Well, not really "THE" answer. I mean, there's also cross-stitching, or basket-weaving, or mold collection, or many other wonderful things. In fact, there's nothing even "wonderful" about SNEEZE. Is there? But then at least, we dont waste our printer ink of interviews of beautiful morons who teach us the right sexual positions, or maybe their idiotic shallow understanding of Life in general. We dont waste our printer ink on socialites who do nothing but make pa-cute in social events. We dont waste our printer ink on writers who were just given the position of "writer" just because they have the family name of blue blooded Pinoy families. This is SNEEZE. Where Sports is considered an activity for morons, where disco is for assholes, where spoiled rich brats are fucking irritating pests of the Earth, and where the losers, strangers, weirdos, spooks come home to to destroy the world that conformists have created. (Yes, yuta mo man eh) Spread the disease... SNEEZE it!






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